Surely not I?

Today's Reading: Mark 14:12-26

Today's scripture reading takes us from the preparation for Passover to the meal itself. During the meal, Jesus has the opportunity to tell the apostles that one of them will betray Him. I'm intrigued by their response as recorded by Mark, "They were saddened, and one by one they said to him, 'Surely not I?'"

Was it false humility that made them ask? As in, "Surely I am so dedicated to you that I would never betray you."

Was it a lack of self-awareness that made them ask? As in, "I don't think I would be the one to betray you, right?"

Was it fear that made them ask? As in, "I'm so afraid about what is going to happen next that maybe I will be the one to betray you."

Whatever their motivation, Mark says they all asked the question. Imagine the sadness of Jesus' heart as it was Judas' turn to ask. He sold his betrayal for 30 pieces of silver and it cost him his life.

But before we come down too hard on the apostles, let's also imagine the sadness of His heart today as we all have betrayed Him in some way somewhere along the line. I don't know about you but I've betrayed Jesus for pride, for rebellion, for fear, and more...all far less than 30 pieces of silver.

Thankfully Jesus allows me to bring those things to Him and receive forgiveness. Every time. No questions asked. No guilt induced. I think the next time I'm tempted to ask, "Surely not I?", I'll just ask for and receive the sweet forgiveness that Jesus has for me.

- Holly Barrett